How to say 'no' to a guy without Ghosting
Our Brothers in Christ matter! So does being honest.
And, it's hard to reply when we are busy.
Here's how to reply if:
you are SUPER busy.
You don't know him well enough to be 'sure' he's not the one.
You ARE SURE he's not the one.
You've tried the above and he won't stop texting you.
If you are SUPER busy
Give yourself a break until you have more time
If you are too busy right now to write back or carry the emotional load, write something like:
Thanks for reaching out, I'll get back to you this weekend (or "in two weeks").
It isn't ghosting - and it gives you time to pick from the below options to truly reply!
See below!
What if they keep writing?
It's extra easy to know what to say when a man does not respect your boundaries:
I do not wish to speak further at this time.
If they ignore that say:
You have not respected my request to stop contacting me, I (...).
(...) will block your number now.
(...) etc.
(...) will notify the authorities if you contact me again.
What's good about their ignoring your requests?
You 100% know that this is someone you do not wish to ever begin a relationship with.
They have made it clear and revealed their true colors.
Only ever be in a relationship with someone who listens to both your big and small requests.
Leave a door open
(Don't burn a bridge)
Just say something like:
"I'm busy right now, but if my schedule opens up, may I contact you then (to chat or for coffee)?'
If you are open to meeting them, you could say: "I'm not free for dinner, but I could do coffee." and decide next steps - next.
What then?
Next? I'm still not sure!
Take it step by step - low stakes.
If you keep it 'just coffee' for a few times (and are not kissing), this is not leading him on (at all or much).
When it's time to be direct: "I don't feel ready to date yet, but there is potential here. I'm happy to have more coffees if you'd like.
If he stops, it's still an open door.
What then? I'm still not sure!
Take it step by step - low stakes.
If you keep it 'just coffee' for a few times (and are not kissing), this is not leading him on (at all or much).
When it's time to be direct: "I don't feel ready to date yet, but there is potential here. I'm happy to have more coffees if you'd like.
If he stops, it's still an open door.