Vetting - Why do we do this?

We want comfortable spaces of kindness

For everyone.

For those who struggle with social skills that help others to feel comfortable and help events to be enjoyable for all, we may remove you from our main site and suggest free trainings that help you succeed!

Such social skills might be: 1) learning how to share a conversation so that others have an easy chance to join in and/or step away if they feel done visiting 2) learning how to talk about comfortable and uplifting topics 3) learning how to not be critical, complaining, gossiping or sarcastic at others expense. 4) learning to not hug other people without asking first and then only offer 'side-hugs' to those of the opposite gender 5) learning to not walk a woman to her car unless she has asked 6) learning how to be respectful with RSVPs and change ones answer to 'no' if your plans change, 7) learning how to treat our site as a Christian community rather than a dating site. Though many date here, we are first and foremost meant to treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ where we seek everyone's best interest, not just the people we hope will go on a date with us, 8) learning how to not talk about politics and divisive topics at site sponsored events and learning how to be honest, kind and friendly to all, and more.

Once trainings have been completed, you might have the opportunity to join our main events again, but please understand that this may take time and is not a guarantee. If you wish to cancel your membership during this time we completely understand.

----------------- Why do we do this? ------

We don't do it to be unkind.

We do it because we are not a church and can't provide paid staff to attend each event (such as our hikes, board game nights, ski-trips, etc.) and some events occur in semi-private settings like a walk through the park or might have only 1-4 other people join. Fo those reasons we only accept members to our main site events who exhibit top tier actions in social settings.

At church & most office spaces, there are multiple paid staff on site to help diffuse situations and give oversight if help is needed. Churches and office spaces also do not have 70% (or more) of the people there hoping to ask someone out that day or soon.

It is a delicate balance.

In addition, many of our events are volunteer led, small and full of people meeting for the very first time.

Those settings require exceptional proven patterns of behavior for everyone to feel comfortable and have fun!

Thank you for understanding!

The Membership Vetting Process

What does vetting entail?

Occasionally, certain events or spaces on our site will have the requirement of having attended 1 or more events prior to being able to join.

This gives a chance for members to feel comfortable around you and confident you embody the values of our site.

If at any time, a member or staff of our site reports feeling uncomfortable around you, it is something that we will look into and may result in your being removed from our main site.

Learn more below

People are not 'kept out of the main page for simply being shy or for looks, or income, or ethnicity, or disability, etc.

It is only actions that make the difference!

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If you do not pass the vetting process

You are a great person!

And we will provide free trainings to help you learn the skills that will help you succeed in the future!

Examples of actions that keep people from the main site.

Not giving a lady or a man space at an event who might want a chance to speak with other people.

Expressing anger/frustration on your face or in your movements that cause others to feel uncomfortable.

Complaining a lot or 'Oversharing'.

Speaking about politics or denominational differences (or other divisive topics) - rather than supporting the goal of unity & bringing Christians together. There are other places and times in life to discuss those important topics.

And other examples covered in our site guidelines.

There are also actions that will get people removed/banned from our site permanently. These are:

Being discriminatory, lying, soliciting money, threatening or actual violence, showing up at events on drugs or drunk, bringing drugs to an event, and others actions listed in the guidelines of our site.